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Make a Wish
Did u hear this ???
TEACHER
: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN
: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER
: What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN : "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O"!!
TEACHER : What are you talking
about?
BALGOBIN : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER
: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, (to
the entire class) who discovered America?
CLASS : Balgobin!
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BALGOBIN
: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN : Your
name on this report card.
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TEACHER : Balgobin, give
me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN : I is...
TEACHER : No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN
: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
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TEACHER
: "George Washington not only chopped down his
father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know
why his father didn't punish him?"
BALGOBIN : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
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TEACHER
: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers
before eating?
BALGOBIN : No sir, I don't have to, my
mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER : Balgobin, your composition
on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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A WISE LITTLE GIRL
A little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her
this was wrong, she must say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't
you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but
mother says I'm not."
TOO ROUGH
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't
play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can
find
a smooth one, can I play with him?"
You Ask Him
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically
impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The
little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What
if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Computer is He or She
A college professor, who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed
as "she" and "her." He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up
two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend
whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked togive 4 reasons
for their recommendation. The group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the masculine gender
because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2.They
have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3.They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the
problem.
4.As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better
model.
The men, on the other hand concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1.
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2.The native language they use to communicate with other computers
is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3.Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4.As
soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
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Marriage Jokes
CASE 1
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish
you had ordered that.
CASE2
Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's
degree and the woman gets her master's.
CASE 3
A little boy asked his father,"Daddy,
how much does it cost to get married??"
And the father replied,"I don't know son, I'm still
paying for it."
CASE 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
CASE 5
After a quarrel,
a wife said to her husband,"You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied,"Yes, dear,
but I was in love and
didn't notice it."
CASE 6
When a man opens the door of his car
for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife. |
Wedding Dress
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed
in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to
explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why is the groom wearing black?" |
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